Lucky 7 Tour

Zak Maytums' Great Neighbours

2009-12-12T15:04:00.000-08:00

Boulder Colorado!! What a great place. The Loco creeped on Boulder like a bad virus. Late at night, we were looking for Zak's high school. The plan was to park out front but the bus ended up a block away sleeping in someones yards and on the Loco's roof. First thing in the morning, as everyone was arriving to school, we circled the grounds asking the students if they knew where we could find the famous Zak Maytum. Everyone knew him just not where he was. We decided to park out front and creeped on the youngens! giving out magazines, stickers, whatever we could. It all worked out in the end when one of the students (of the female variety) left with us in the Loco. She was a guest aboard the bus for almost a week.

Then was off to Flagstaff hill to do some bombing. A technical hill that the Loco was not be able to climb. While parked at the look out, a sexy lady came by. She had the cutest little pig tails, Cutest bum, wearing spandex! She was walking her bike that had a flat tire, Phill assured her the loco would get her home safe. An invite was extended for her to come out and party later. Turns out the party was at her house! It was situated on a frat house filled street, beer pong in the yards of almost every house. The whole town was rampant with university students, and it was graduation week! Next stop was the shower in the gas station washrooms, bird style. The rec center was closed, and Zaks mom turned us away. Everyone had to freshen up before another night of mayhem. We set up tents, ditched our bags in Zaks garage and met the neighbours. The two young ladies were very excited to jump on the Loco for a night on the town. Truth be told Zak may have been interested in the cute blond but he hadn't seen what the the Loco brings out in young ladies before. Before leaving the driveway the cute blond had found her way into king Brian's' arms. The young brunette was grabbing at Hoodies nuts and believe it or not he was telling her to gear down. The dance party was in full affect as the loco rolled through town stopping at random homes and being pulled over by Dubois and Rizzo. The party grew and it was time to visit that cute bikers home. Phill was dragged off by two cute girls that had one bra and pair of undies between them. They ran away with water guns and Phill in hand, who later called to be rescued from girls that had gotten a bit crazy! The cute biker jumped aboard the Loco and dance party continued through the night. Hoodie and the cute biker hit it off! This drove that young brunette crazy! As things came to an end, the bus returned to Zaks street and people made there way back to there tents and homes. Hoodie stayed in the Loco with that cyclist and little did he know but that brunette was ready to go home. The brunette came into the bus to see Hoodie was busy, she stormed off, slammed the bus door and cursed at Hoodie calling him an asshole! Hoodie lasting 2 seconds, falling asleep, and having her be gone in the morning. The next morning Zak was heard reminiscing about the night before and how he had never seen that behavior from his neighbours. What can we say....the Loco brings out peoples crazy wild side!

Thank you Zak Maytum, Zaks' Mom and the kind neighbours.

A bit more detail!

2009-12-08T17:43:00.000-08:00

There are many stories involving the Loco and the many passengers that for obvious reasons could not be in the magazines. I will try to add a new uncensored dirty stories at least once a week and maybe a few extras here and there. No passengers or myself will be safe from being exposed!!! Everyone I know is waiting on several stories in particular but some of those still need time to settle a bit more!

Uncensored Article

2009-12-08T17:30:00.000-08:00

It Aint Easy

The dream seemed easy enough! Get a cool bus, travel to races and have support from advertisers and sponsors. The Loco Express is a 1965 Dodge Travco, I received it for free but free really means big, fat, expensive bill. With a great amount of help from Stumanchu, friends and the guys at Auto Friends the Loco Express was given the ability to go and stop safely. The Interior was put together over three days with everyone coming together to help get us on the road for our USA tour. The Loco Express would never have left the garage without the financial support and labour of friends and sponsors. A huge thanx goes out to Stumanchu, Luke, Tim Loh, Julie Lapoint, Ryan Ricker, Landyauchtz, Concrete Wave, Coast Longboarding, Bear Trucks, Hawgs Wheels, Timeship Racing, Unkle Lee, Phil, Off Axis, The Clit, Murf with Pilsner, Hugh Johnston, Dave “Guff” Leslie with his camera, Jonnie Walker with Walker Custom Painting, Hayato Tanaka, Jeff “Woody” Woodfine, Patrick Switzer, Joey Pryde, Mom and Dad.
The driver, me, Matt “Hoodie” Shaw. I have been called many things besides driver and it`s probably all true. Here’s a few, a ladies’ man, a womanizer, irresponsible, alcoholic, sleazebag, bad with money, gambler, selfish, hussy and the list goes on. As a driver I should have had a license, I never did.....but I can fix stuff. The Loco Express was to become a advertisement space and get sponsors to help provide racers with free transportation for a season of skating and competing. This didn`t happen exactly to plan, instead passengers were charged a ticket price and had to be subjected to whatever I chose to do.
Besides managing a small space with 8-12 skaters, the other big obstacle was dealing with breakdowns and the phantom bottle cap in the gas tank. Every trip was in jeopardy of not leaving Vancouver. When things breakdown in the Loco it is never a quick fix, parts are hard to come by, parts cost more, parts must be specially ordered and something is always broken. I was always able to find a way it just depended on how many toes it would cost.
Once things were rolling the parties would start up! The booze would be flowing, bongs bubbling and a dance party underway. Always before arriving at a destination a breakdown of some sort was inevitable. This would affect the schedule and the passengers did not like when they missed chances to skate. We made it to many of the events we planned on and missed a few. The stress I went through trying to balance a schedule, 8 to 12 passengers, partying and operating a bus definitely took a toll on my sanity. Then it happened......SNAP WENT HOODIE.
On the flipside of the bad there were the good times. We skated Malibu’s Tuna Canyon, GMR, Albuquerque Ditches, Colo-RADO Mountains, BC Mountains, Alberta hills and skate parks along the way. The Loco travelled to 9 races and travelled over 7,777 miles. We were always meeting interesting people along the way, while broken down, at gas stations, on the hills, out partying, picking up hitch hikers and skating. While in Portland the Loco was greeted by Wookie, in Avon it was Rob McKendry, Earthships in Toas, Mama Strike in Williams Lake, Aaron Christensen in Calgary and many more. Everywhere the Loco went people gathered, asked questions and jumped into the Loco, some for longer durations and some very brief. The memories and stories will be shared for years to come and never forgotten! We went through a gauntlet to make the trips happen and it was all worth it! I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to light a match and give in. That being said I could never bring myself to part with the Loco after so many wild trips and great times with friends on the road.
My goal was to provide racers with free transportation to events. Did it happen? NO! Not even close! Will it happen? Who knows, I have more insight on what needs to be done and how to get sponsors, next year will be a new chapter in the Loco Express log. I may have failed in reaching my goal but on the other hand we made it and we all have the experiences that will be with us for life. Now I must come back, attack sponsors and get advertisers onboard for 2010!

Interviews!

Thanks for checking in on Woodys’ chat line! I have called and interviewed a bunch of the Loco Express passengers and Hoodie himself, but ME FIRST. I had the privilege of paying to travelling in the Loco Express this summer on all but one trip, the USA tour. It’s a love, hate relationship. I love the Loco but I hate Hoodie. No, all kidding aside, a trip on the Loco is the greatest way to travel, when you’re actually travelling. The time broken down was most often amusing, shooting each other with fireworks, shit show shadow, drunk hitch hikers with their pants undone, drunk shit show shadow with his pants down and much more. My favourite moment would have been at the car show in Williams Lake. We won a kick ass trophy for the “hard luck award”. The Loco crew also got feed lunch! We were all entered into a pizza eating contest! Later when people came to see the Loco they also got to watch the Loco crew puking up their lunch. I will definitely be looking forward to the next trip On Hoodies’ Loco Express. Now back to Woodys’ chat line! First on the phone, the cameraman and the only passenger to go on every Loco Express trip it’s....Dave “Guff” Leslie:

Woody: So Guff, what did you do to piss Hoodie off?

Guff: When Hoodie would be getting all pissy, I would make wise, smart ass comments to piss him off more, then sit back and watch!

Woody: What has Hoodie done to piss you off?

Guff: What didn’t he do? He makes you obey his rules, Anything Hoodie wants to do, you’re gonna end up doing it.

Woody: Who was the craziest hitch hiker you picked up in the Loco?

Guff: Definitely the dude who got shot in the face, by his cousin. He had like 2 faces and he put my fingers in the holes where the bullets had gone in and out of his face. He was even drinking the same booze that we had going in our paper bags, 2 litre Glacier Berry Coolers! Or maybe the drunk chick who was pissed drunk with her pants undone that had passed out in a hallway and gotten robbed

Woody: how long did you spend wearing the bird costume?

Guff: Counting sleeping, maybe a few days.

Woody: Is Hoodie a good driver?

Guff: Yeah he’s a good driver, a bit crazy.

My next phone call was to Louis Pilloni, he was at a bar and may have been intoxicated. I’m pretty sure he thought it was Hoodie giving him a call, he kept asking when it was his turn to ask a question, so I hung up on him.

Woody: What did Hoodie do to piss you off?

Louis: He’s not a bad guy, you just have to bite the bullet sometimes.

Woody: What was your most unforgettable moment in the Loco Express?

Louis: The whole trip is something I will never forget. Crossing the border was pretty crazy when Hoodie was wearing the bird costume and we were all dragged in and accused of being stoned on marijuana....reefer!

Woody: What was the worst moment on the Loco?

Louis: It was when we were broken down, but then, while being broke down we met great people and we even stayed at their earthship home.

Woody: Did you ever get frisky on the Loco?

Louis: Well, it was home to like 15 people. But, of course, you gotta get some at some point.

Woody: So is that a yes?

Louise: Yes.

After talking to Louis, I thought I would give Christin Gregerson a call. She is a fast hill bomber and aggressive slider. Christin was on her way to buy some value village furniture when I stole a few minutes of her life that she can never have back, hahahaha!

Woody: What was your most unforgettable moment in the Loco?

Christin: There were a lot of them. I remember when James Kelly threw up on Kibbling and me. I thought I was going to puke!

Woody: Did you ever get frisky in the Loco?

Christin: yes, lots!

Woody: Who was the best dancer during the Loco dance parties?

Christin: Definitely King Brian from Chilliwack.

Woody: How long did you spend broken down in the Loco?

Christin: Well, it took us 3 days to get to Portland from Vancouver.

Woody: Is there anything you would like to add?

Christin: It was the most amazing trip I have ever done!

So Christen called us the following day asking us to remove a few things or change some answers on here interview. I told her the article already went to press but really, we just figured it was time to let the cat of the bang....sorry Mom and Dad, Christin is NOT A VIRGIN! if you didn't already know.

Moving right along, I then made the call to the big man, Bricin “Striker” Lyons. Hoodie always told me that whenever Striker calls it’s from the bathroom. Sure enough when I called he was pinching his balls and smelling his fingers.

Woody: What did Hoodie do to piss you off?

Striker: Piss me off, or wreck our friendship? He hurt us when he said he was over with us.

Woody: What did you do to piss off Hoodie?

Striker: I got in the way of his woman.

Woody: Did you help with any repairs on the Loco?

Striker: With the Loco no, but I did have to do a lot of repairs on my heart.

Woody: Would you go on the Loco again?

Striker: It depends, where are we going? To the bar maybe.

Woody: What was your most unforgettable moment in the Loco?

Striker: That would have been Hoodie leaving us on the side of the road, grabbing a bag of beer and taking off like Rambo in First Blood.

Woody: Have you ever defaced, pissed or puked in the Loco?

Striker: Is that a trick question? Does this end up with me owing Hoodie money?

Woody: How long did you spend broken down in the Loco?

Striker: A day and a half just trying to get out of Vancouver and a few days not broken down waiting for Hoodie to get laid.

Phil `Green Like Limes` was my next subject. He was making dinner at home and said he didn`t give interviews but quickly gave in when he was told it was for the Loco Express Concrete Wave article.

Woody: What did you do to piss off Hoodie?

Phil: I crashed the Loco

Woody: How many Loco trips did you go on?

Phil: Just the maiden trip through the states, so 1.

Woody: Would you go on the Loco again?

Phil: uh...yeah. It was a learning experience.

Woody: What was your most unforgettable moment in the Loco?

Phil: Picking up the hitch hiker that was fresh outta jail. He was a scary MoFo named Leaf, with a tattoo of Hitler on his arm that he did himself.

Woody: What was the worst moment?

Phil: We were going through a snowstorm down a narrow road with cliffs on the side of the road. Joshua from the Czech Republic was driving us through Yellowstone Park. I thought I was going to die! I was staying close the window and I was prepared to jump through. I’ve never told anyone this.

I ran into Cody “Shit Show Shadow” Tisdale up in Whistler and interviewed Cody as he was hanging from the rafters of the hotel.

Woody: How many hours did you spend broken down in the Loco?

Shadow: Enough time to write an emo song....So whatcha thinking about.

Woody: Who was the best dancer in the Loco?

Shadow: It was definitely me, that’s why I was the judge. Stef was pretty good, till she ended upside down in the doorway after Woody braked for a corner.

Woody: Is Hoodie a good driver?

Shadow: He’s a great driver when he’s not angry, much better than Woody.

Woody: Would you go on another trip in the Loco?

Shadow: Yes, especially if it was to Point Roberts cause Hoodie was rad and not being
a dick.

I called the laid back Nick Breton of Edmonton, Local One Twenty Four team rider. I caught him brewing some coffee.

Woody: Did you ever help with repairs on the Loco?

Nick: No, I just sat back and laughed.

Woody: What was your most unforgettable moment on the Loco?

Nick: Dumpster diving in Montana! We saw some dumpster outside of the market getting loaded with shopping carts of food! We started to go crazy, pulling boxes of food from the bins and dancing all around the food. Then this really large woman came out and told us the pour chemicals into these bins. King Brian was still feasting on his watermelon as they pleaded with us to return the food and said that they had called the police. Sure enough cops came but by that time we had returned the food and bought groceries.

Woody: Who was the gnarliest hitch hiker you picked up in the Loco?

Nick: The guy on the way to Santa Fe, dude had crazy tats all over his body and Hitler on his head. The first 10 or so minutes was scary, but then offered him a beer and gave him a phone to call his mom.

Woody: What would you change or add to the Loco?

Nick: A gas gauge!

Woody: anything you would like to add?

Nick: Get on board if you can.

I made a call to Maui and got a hold of the Maui Wowie, Josh Wiesfeld as he was chilling at his home in Hawaii.
Woody: What did you do to piss Hoodie off?

Josh: I told the little girls that Hoodie just wanted to bang them.

Woody: Would you go on another trip in the Loco?

Joshua: (long pause) ......possibly.

Woody: What was your most unforgettable moment in the Loco?
Josh: When Hoodie launched the Loco off the highway, through a ditch and came to a fishtail stop in a farmers` field. This was when he found out the front windshield was busted up. Hoodie kicked us to the side of the highway, took the keys and walked off the rest of the beer.

Woody: What was the worst moment in the Loco?

Josh: That quickly turned into the worst moment, not knowing what we were going to do in the middle of nowhere, hitch hiking with 8 people.

Woody: Who was the best dancer in the Loco?

Josh: I would have to go with Shit Show Shadow

Woody: What would you change about the Loco?

Josh: Nothing but the driver, just kidding, but some lockers or shelves would be good.

My next call was to Hayato Tanaka, also known as Dragon. He was busy working, I asked if I could call at a better time but he insisted that work was the best time to call.

Woody: What did Hoodie do to piss you off?

Dragon: He thinks about the girls too much and forgets about the rest of us.

Woody: would you go on another trip?

Dragon: Oh hell yeah, I would live on it.

Woody: Have you ever defaced, puked or pissed in the Loco?

Dragon: No, but James Kelly puked and I think a chunk landed on my shoulder.

What does King Brian do when he is at his home in Chilliwack? Nothing. I asked Brian what he was doing he said he was watching wood burn.

Woody: What was your most unforgettable moment in the Loco?

King Brian: Breaking down in the high desert, talking about chewbracabras and getting to spend the night in an earthship home under the stars.

Woody: Did you ever get frisky in the Loco Express?

King Brian: uuummmmm........Nope. (we call bullshit)

Woody: Is Hoodie a good driver?

King Brian: Yeah, a great driver.

Woody: How many hours did you spend broken down?

King Brian: Oh shit! I would say around 50 or 60 hours.

Woody: Anything you would like to add?

King Brian: Hell yeah, that was the best 3 weeks of my life.

Now last but not least, the man behind the show, the guy sleeping on my couch, the man with a million ideas, big dreams and five bucks in his pocket. I introduce to you,
Matt Hoodie Shaw. I interrupted Hoodie while he was late finishing this article by a few days for the loco express to answer a few questions.

Woody: What was the nastiest thing you found in the Loco?

Hoodie: The nasty things left in the fridge by Joshua the Czech, the bubble wand used as a dildo, old shoes, a random bra and old scabby underwear to list a few .
Woody: Did you try anything new?

Hoodie: Of course, the whole trip was new for me. Then there were the new hills, the New Mexico green chilli and a bunch of us hit up the salvia. I`m sure, I`m forgetting a few things.

Woody: What was the gnarliest moment?

Hoodie: The trip back from Williams Lake was the most alcohol consumed in a short time, involving coolers, bongs, cider, whiskey, joints, beer, fireworks, sage picking, near death experiences, but the Loco Whistler party with broken limbs and bubble wands was pretty crazy too

Woody: So, what actually happened at the boarder

Hoodie: I was wearing the bird suit, James Kelly was wanted and so was Louis. The Loco had already ready been cleaned out at the previous stop. The crew was slightly foggy when it came to releasing details and we were all brought in for a search. Once being released back to Canada the guard asked what’s up with the bird? I responded, haven’t you heard? The bird is the word! And we were on the way back to Landyauchtz!
Woody: Why did you call your bus the Loco Express?

Hoodie: It seems pretty obvious, maybe not the Express part but the Loco is Mexican for crazy, but what do I know, I don’t speak Mexican
Woody: What did you learn this summer from the Loco Express?

Hoodie: I did learn stuff, like serenity now is a load of shit, counting to 10 doesn’t work, yelling at drunk skaters is pointless, 1965 was a great year for mechanics and I have plenty new rules to add to the list of thousands

Woody: Anything to add?

Hoodie: Huge thanks to my family, friends and sponsors for believing in me. I never would have made it this far without their help and support. I’m looking forward to making the 2010 season even better! On another note, mess with me or the Loco and I will destroy you! To view the complete interviews and other Loco chaos, check out www.locoexpress.ca

Ditch Slap 2009

2009-04-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

day 1- Today started with a timed race down Kats Nips ditch with will brunson taking down jason mitchel and zack maytum in third. The ditch was a great trainer for us newbie ditch slappers, we were all far behind the winning time but learnt some valuable skills for the up coming races. After the race we took off to freestyle some of the many other great ditches. In total today we rode in 7 different ditches, Indian School, la cuevo, 3- mile, layton, carmel, and harpers. These ditches are full of broken glass, tires, sand, cracks, holes, homeless, big rocks, small rocks and so much more.

Lucky 7 Tour

2009-04-02T14:37:00.000-07:00

As you may know the Loco Express is going to be travelling all around North America covering over 7,777 miles of road. We are looking for donations to help propel the Loco Express, spreading the stoke of longboarding. With your donations, the Loco Express will be able to bring more skaters to more events and go further distances. Twenty five percent of every donation will go towards other charities such as Push for the Cure and Skateboards for Cuba.

All donations are to be in the form of sevens, example: $7.77, $27.77, $77.77,$157.77,$777.77 ect. and every person or company that donates will have there name on the Loco Express. Any donations over $77.77 will get your name on the Loco Express and in the Concrete Wave Magazine. A gift package of varying size will be given out to larger donations.

To make a donation, click on donation button or go to paypal website and donate to thelocoexpress@gmail.com . Thank you for all your support and keep checking back for more updates and events.